When we think about heartwarming toasts to the bride and groom, family and friends enjoying each other’s company, good food, and touching moments, we’re usually picturing a wedding reception.

But in many cases, those elements can be part of a rehearsal dinner, too. This pre-wedding meal traditionally is a time for the bride and groom to spend time with close friends and family and get the celebrating officially underway. It’s a chance to make special memories and show wedding participants they’re appreciated.

 Will you be organizing a rehearsal dinner soon? We’ve put together some guidelines and suggestions that can help.

What Will Be Happening AT the Rehearsal Dinner?

The rehearsal dinner, in most cases, will follow the wedding rehearsal, when the bride, groom, and wedding party go over the procession, seating, readings, and the recession. Basically, like a dress rehearsal for a play, rehearsing the day before the wedding is a way to make sure everyone knows what they’ll be doing when it’s time for the main event.

The dinner that follows gives the rehearsal participants a chance to unwind and get in the celebration mode. And, it allows wedding party members to get to know each other better.

 Aside from eating, what happens during a rehearsal dinner is up to you. You can make it a relaxed gathering focused on good food and conversation, or you can go for a more structured event. You can even have entertainment or fun activities like a photobooth.

If you’d like to put some extra thought and planning into your rehearsal dinner, here are some possibilities.

Toasts: The rehearsal dinner is a nice time for the dinner host to say a few words. Other potential speakers could be the bride or groom (or both) and members of the wedding party.

(A few words about speeches: Wedding rehearsal speeches tend to be less formal than speeches made at the wedding, but we do encourage speech-givers to put some time into planning and rehearsing what they’ll be saying. Aim for something short and heartfelt.)

Gift giving: The flexibility of the rehearsal dinner makes it a convenient time for the bride to distribute gifts to the wedding party.

Announcements: Do you have any information about policies, dressing rooms, or parking at your wedding venue for the wedding party? This is the time to share it.

Who’s Responsible for the Rehearsal Dinner?

 Rehearsal dinners generally have been formal events hosted by the groom’s parents. In more recent years, the dinners have become more casual, and in many instances, the couples have taken over as hosts.

Really, you can take any approach you’d like: The important thing here is clear communication. The bride and groom should speak with the groom’s family before planning begins so everyone is on the same page.

Who Should Be Invited?

Generally, the guest list to the rehearsal dinner should include immediate family, the wedding party and their plus-ones, and out-of-town guests. Some families also invite those who will do a special reading during the ceremony, ushers, the ring bearer, the flower girl, and—if they’re close to the family—the officiant and their spouse. If you’ll have live music at your wedding, you might also consider inviting the musicians.

Invitations

You don’t need to send formal printed invitations for your rehearsal dinner. You can reach out to the people you want there with online invitations, emails, or a phone call.

Generally, you should invite people about four to six weeks before the dinner. Be sure to include details about dress and whether children can attend.

What Kind of Food Should Be Offered?

It’s considerate to offer a menu that accommodates dietary restrictions and food allergies, but beyond that, serve anything that you’d like. If you’re looking for inspiration, consider the foods your town is known for. In Houston, for example, maybe you’ll want to include barbecue or Tex-Mex dishes. Or, maybe you’d like to work in a dish that ties in with family tradition, like the macaroni and cheese the groom loved as a child or the dump cake the bride’s grandmother makes. (Just be sure to check with your venue to make sure it’s OK to bring in food.)

A Few Tips for You

Here are a few more considerations to smooth your planning process.

Set a budget. The average cost of American rehearsal dinners is about $1,400, according to Wedding Spot. If you need to trim costs, some options include going with breakfast, lunch, or brunch instead of dinner; sticking with appetizers and/or dessert; or limiting the guest list to parents and the bridal party.

Keep commutes short. If possible, aim for a location reasonably close to your guests’ homes or hotels and the location of your wedding venue. You also can look into the possibility of holding the rehearsal dinner at your venue.

Consider entertainment. If you’d like to make the dinner an all-out party, you always can hire live performers, from a band to dancers.

Double-check. Don’t forget to confirm your reservations with your venue, caterer, photographer, entertainer, and anyone else you’ve lined up for the party.

Personalize the party. Consider creating a video presentation or a photo display of the bride and groom (baby and childhood pictures are always a hit). Or…tie the dinner to a special theme, possibly something related to the food you’re serving, your location, or the theme of your wedding. If your wedding celebrates Hollywood, for example, maybe you’ll want your rehearsal dinner to zero in on your favorite science fiction flicks or romantic comedies.

Don’t forget photography. Designate someone to take photos, whether you hire a photographer or enlist your cousin. The dinner, most likely, will include special moments you’ll want to capture.

Don’t let the evening stretch out too long. Aim for wrapping up after about three hours. Depending on when they arrived, your out-of-town guests may be running out of steam, and guests who worked that day may be tired, too. Plus, all of you have a big day coming up!

Have fun! Above all, that’s the goal of your rehearsal dinner.